It's almost at an end. The owners voted to ratify the new 10 year CBA by a vote of 31-0 (The only abstension was the Oakland Raiders. Even in unanimous CBA voting, you can count on Al Davis to screw things up. Do you think he tried to trade his next three first round picks for Reggie Bush while the voting was still going on? Me too.) Now the vote goes over to the players, who could have ratified the CBA on Wednesday. The players are taking their sweet time on the vote because they know that they won. The extended season essentially got dropped, free agency swung in their favor, and the revenue sharing agreement came out to essentially a 50/50 split. I'm both overjoyed that the lockout is over and angry that it took both sides so long. I always knew that the regular season would be salvaged, but prepared myself for the day that talks broke down and the season was cancelled. Somebody asked me a few months ago what I would do without football. I would probably switch over to college football for a season, catch up on some of my SAT prep, and eventually put my head in to a blender. Now that things are working themselves out, the purpose of this column has changed. When I planned to write this a month ago (but was too lazy to do so), it was going to be one of those complaining columns that irate fans write on hundreds of blogs like this. It was more for me than it would have been for any of my readers (all 15 of you). This column is now more of an expression of my 10 favorite things about football. I encourage any of my readers to send me your 10 favorite things about America's game (Just to clarify: America's game is football. Anywhere from 10-15 other countries do baseball better than we do. Football is only popular in America. No game where some people in the crowd are on their iPhones for one-third of the time should qualify as a national sport. Sorry.)
10. Monday Night Football. One of the biggest traditions in American sports. I go through most Mondays thinking in terms of when Monday Night Football is coming on. 2nd Period, 12 hours to MNF. End of the Day, 6 hours to MNF. The games are almost always good, it salvages what would otherwise be the worst day of the week, and we get to hear Chris Berman's voice before the game. Just a win-win all around.
9. The Routine. Yes, I have a routine on Sundays during football season. It is as rigid and unbreakable as an actual athlete's routine. It consists of getting up at 7:30 sharp, walking the dog, doing all my homework in record time, setting all of my fantasy football teams, making my picks, and then devouring as much info as I can about each game. It keeps me lively and purposeful during The Fall Void. This occurs from the time that school starts to Thanksgiving. Summer has ended, everybody is semi-depressed for a week or two, and the Holidays don't come for two and a half more months. The Routine gives me something to look forward to every Sunday. After football, there is a very manageable 4-6 weeks to fill until March Madness. Then, Spring comes and I'm not as grumpy. The only thing I'm sure of is that I would not be able to handle 5 months of The Void.
8. Fantasy Football. I will admit that I have not done a great job of taking care of my fantasy football team. Let me rephrase; I did not take care of my fantasy team at all last year. I had both Ryan Grant and Jermichael Finley starting after they went to Injured Reserve months before. To be fair, I was keeping up with a few other leagues, but that's besides the point. Fantasy Football is just a great way to get involved with the game and an avenue to make fun of your best friends. Ray, Markau, and I have had discussions that have lasted hours about fantasy football. I am a registered DORK (Dude Obsessed with Ranking Kickers). It gives friends away to compete against each other. After all, two teams can only play a maximum of three times a season (including playoffs), and even that rarely happens. The Jets only get to play the Eagles once every four years. However, I go up against Ray three times per year just about every year. The fantasy team names are also another positive component of the game. Ray's team name, Clever Name Pending, was a hyperintelligent nickname that he may or may not have stolen from Chris Masselli. Sadly, that's the only team name that's appropriate enough to include in the column.
7. Each TV Channel's respective Pump-Up Music. I always thought that this was an underrated part of the game. The Jets are always on CBS, so their football music (Duh-dah-dah-dah-dah-duh-DUUUUH-dah-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-DAH-DAH-DAH) might as well have been playing on a nonstop loop in my head all season. I remember that from ages 5-8, the sight of the FOX Football robot would get me unimaginably excited. Two of my favorite songs came from the NFL Network promos for Thursday Night Football. I go throughout school humming at least one of them every few days. Speaking of NFL Network.....
6. The NFL Network anchoring team. I don't count Michael Irvin because he shouldn't be on TV and he sounds like somebody stuck sandpaper in his throat. The announcing team of Rich Eisen, Steve Marriuci, and Deion Sanders is comparable to the Big Three of Miami, only the NFL Network crew actually shows up for the full hour. Rich Eisen always comes up with the best one-liners at the most appropriate times. His comedic timing is actually off the charts. Mariucci is the one guy who cares about the X's and O's of football and gets technichal about all the plays. And then there's Deion. He's tops on my list of Favorite Celebrities that I would never want to meet. Sure, his personality seems overbearing. He might have been a bit of a jerk when he was playing football (Understatement Alert). But when the camera starts rolling, nobody is better at mixing announcing and unintentional comedy than Deion. You can predict most of his jokes before he says them if you've watched enough episodes of NFL Gameday, yet it's still funny every single time. The anchor desk of NFL Gameday alongside cagey NFL Network veteran Rich Eisen is my number two choice for a sportscasting job.
5. Crazy NFL People. The NFL has been the source of legendary press conferences (sponsored by Budwesier. Or Miller Light. Or whatever beer company ran a commercial of Jim Mora's "Playoffs?" press conference for two months straight). Who could forget Dennis Green's "WE ARE WHO WE THOUGHT WE WERE!!!!" press conference? Or Herm Edwards' "YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!" rant? Press conferences aren't the only avenue for NFL players to act like everything from movie stars to angry drunks. Football players choose to give their press conferences in varying states of dress. From 2,000 dollar three-piece suits to outfits that might have been purchased for 5 dollars at the local Party City, we've seen it all throughout the years. One of the wierdest reasons I miss football is seeing quarterbacks give press conferences in their Armani suits and baseball caps. Somehow, agents and PR people haven't figured out ways to coach their less sensible clients on postgame attire. Thus, we get treated to Steve Johnson trotting out a 15$ muscle shirt that exposes his 9 billion tattoos. Could we educate agents in this? Can we at least get an Outside the Lines episode? I aslo miss the trash-talking that goes on between Jets and Patriots, Steelers and Ravens, or any other high profile rivalry. No other sport allows this. Baseball players don't do it. David Stern has definitely killed it in the NBA, where vital bench players on the Suns got ejected for standing up after Steve Nash was body-slammed to the ground. Since that series against the Spurs in 07, any form of trash talking has been virtually non-existant. The NFL is the exact opposite. It encourages players to talk trash. It makes money off the bad boy image. That's how you get intense rivalries and bad blood between teams. Good times all around.
4. Football conversations with friends. I actually look forward to these, even when the Jets lose. I always know that Markau will have something insightful to say, no matter what happened on Sunday. OK, that's a lie. Most of the stuff is just chanting "Jets suck!" (very creative). But it's enjoyable. It's a huge discussion topic in a time period (September to November and then the Playoffs in January) when not a lot happens. Conversations also lead to sports betting, another thing that I miss about football. The inherent heckling that goes along with betting is wildly entertaining and probably not healthy for an early teen such as myself. Sadly, Princeton High is not exactly Vegas. I usually wait months for payment from Markau, and the bets almost never go beyond twenty dollars. Oh well. It's still a great way for people to talk and yet another excuse to heckle each other.
3. Free agency and trades. Since this year has a bunch of big names and even a few noteworthy medium names (Vincent Jackson, Peyton Manning, and Nnamdi Asomugha are just some of the bigger names being floated around for possible transitions) on the block, this offseason promises to be even more exciting than the last. However, because of the lockout, no offseason moves could be made. Now that the lockout is in its final stages, what you're about to see is an active offseason of transactions condensed in to a few weeks. It's going to be crazy. One of my favorite parts of football is checking the rumors page every day to see who's been traded. Smart trades and free agent pickups are part of the foundation of a championship team. I enjoy watching that foundation be built and refined. Free agency and trades are my excuse to try and get a little closer to being involved in football in some way all year round. Yes, it's possible.
2. One Day 15 Games. Only in football is it interesting and engaing to flip between multiple games. Some still do this, some have embraced the Red Zone channel. I like to get the best of both worlds and flip between NFL Sunday Ticket and the Red Zone. I also set up my phone to receive text messages when a team scores. It's the most intense thing you will do while wearing pajama pants on your couch. In today's 52 inch LCD/ESPN8/ cell phone era, staying home is an infinitely more enjoyable experience than going to a game. Of course, you don't get the tailgate atmosphere or the stadium vibe at home. But for keeping track of games and a great view, you can't beat the LCD/Red Zone combination. If Chris Johnson runs for an 80 yard touchdown, I know about it. If Devin Hester muffs a punt, I find out very quickly. Football has integrated technology seemlessly to allow fans a more comfortable and info-packed viewing experience. And the number 1 reason why I miss football is........
1. Any Given Sunday. It's been called many different things. Whether it's parity, equal opportunity, or equal stupidity, any given team on any given Sunday can win. In baseball, the worst team beats the best 2 out of 6 times. In football, an upset means something. It may happen multiple times in a Sunday, multiple times in a month, or not at all in a season, but upsets are what makes the NFL great. However, the concept of Any Given Sunday can't be magnified in to a simple football game. It affects all of football. The NFL is the league where any team can go from worst to first through some clever free agent moves and a lot of guts. It's been proven that the same can't be said of baseball. In basketball, that's only true if you play in a big city, have a superstar, or play in a state with no income tax. The concept of Any Given Sunday is football's version of the American Dream. Any Given Sunday is why football exists with no teams in big market cities such as Los Angeles. Any Given Sunday is what makes football great. Every single time I turn on a game, I hope for something special to happen. Not the just the NFL, any sport at all. Most times, I get a forgettable but entertaining game. Once in a while, I see a moment that will stay with me for a long time to come. That's why every football fan will forget about the legal maneuvering going on with the lockout. That's why every football fan will continue to watch a league where the owners and players did everything but yell "We don't care about the fans!" in to a megaphone. Every football fan will still watch the NFL when play resumes. Because we don't just want Sundays back, but we want our Any Given Sundays back.
10. Monday Night Football. One of the biggest traditions in American sports. I go through most Mondays thinking in terms of when Monday Night Football is coming on. 2nd Period, 12 hours to MNF. End of the Day, 6 hours to MNF. The games are almost always good, it salvages what would otherwise be the worst day of the week, and we get to hear Chris Berman's voice before the game. Just a win-win all around.
9. The Routine. Yes, I have a routine on Sundays during football season. It is as rigid and unbreakable as an actual athlete's routine. It consists of getting up at 7:30 sharp, walking the dog, doing all my homework in record time, setting all of my fantasy football teams, making my picks, and then devouring as much info as I can about each game. It keeps me lively and purposeful during The Fall Void. This occurs from the time that school starts to Thanksgiving. Summer has ended, everybody is semi-depressed for a week or two, and the Holidays don't come for two and a half more months. The Routine gives me something to look forward to every Sunday. After football, there is a very manageable 4-6 weeks to fill until March Madness. Then, Spring comes and I'm not as grumpy. The only thing I'm sure of is that I would not be able to handle 5 months of The Void.
8. Fantasy Football. I will admit that I have not done a great job of taking care of my fantasy football team. Let me rephrase; I did not take care of my fantasy team at all last year. I had both Ryan Grant and Jermichael Finley starting after they went to Injured Reserve months before. To be fair, I was keeping up with a few other leagues, but that's besides the point. Fantasy Football is just a great way to get involved with the game and an avenue to make fun of your best friends. Ray, Markau, and I have had discussions that have lasted hours about fantasy football. I am a registered DORK (Dude Obsessed with Ranking Kickers). It gives friends away to compete against each other. After all, two teams can only play a maximum of three times a season (including playoffs), and even that rarely happens. The Jets only get to play the Eagles once every four years. However, I go up against Ray three times per year just about every year. The fantasy team names are also another positive component of the game. Ray's team name, Clever Name Pending, was a hyperintelligent nickname that he may or may not have stolen from Chris Masselli. Sadly, that's the only team name that's appropriate enough to include in the column.
7. Each TV Channel's respective Pump-Up Music. I always thought that this was an underrated part of the game. The Jets are always on CBS, so their football music (Duh-dah-dah-dah-dah-duh-DUUUUH-dah-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-DAH-DAH-DAH) might as well have been playing on a nonstop loop in my head all season. I remember that from ages 5-8, the sight of the FOX Football robot would get me unimaginably excited. Two of my favorite songs came from the NFL Network promos for Thursday Night Football. I go throughout school humming at least one of them every few days. Speaking of NFL Network.....
6. The NFL Network anchoring team. I don't count Michael Irvin because he shouldn't be on TV and he sounds like somebody stuck sandpaper in his throat. The announcing team of Rich Eisen, Steve Marriuci, and Deion Sanders is comparable to the Big Three of Miami, only the NFL Network crew actually shows up for the full hour. Rich Eisen always comes up with the best one-liners at the most appropriate times. His comedic timing is actually off the charts. Mariucci is the one guy who cares about the X's and O's of football and gets technichal about all the plays. And then there's Deion. He's tops on my list of Favorite Celebrities that I would never want to meet. Sure, his personality seems overbearing. He might have been a bit of a jerk when he was playing football (Understatement Alert). But when the camera starts rolling, nobody is better at mixing announcing and unintentional comedy than Deion. You can predict most of his jokes before he says them if you've watched enough episodes of NFL Gameday, yet it's still funny every single time. The anchor desk of NFL Gameday alongside cagey NFL Network veteran Rich Eisen is my number two choice for a sportscasting job.
5. Crazy NFL People. The NFL has been the source of legendary press conferences (sponsored by Budwesier. Or Miller Light. Or whatever beer company ran a commercial of Jim Mora's "Playoffs?" press conference for two months straight). Who could forget Dennis Green's "WE ARE WHO WE THOUGHT WE WERE!!!!" press conference? Or Herm Edwards' "YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!" rant? Press conferences aren't the only avenue for NFL players to act like everything from movie stars to angry drunks. Football players choose to give their press conferences in varying states of dress. From 2,000 dollar three-piece suits to outfits that might have been purchased for 5 dollars at the local Party City, we've seen it all throughout the years. One of the wierdest reasons I miss football is seeing quarterbacks give press conferences in their Armani suits and baseball caps. Somehow, agents and PR people haven't figured out ways to coach their less sensible clients on postgame attire. Thus, we get treated to Steve Johnson trotting out a 15$ muscle shirt that exposes his 9 billion tattoos. Could we educate agents in this? Can we at least get an Outside the Lines episode? I aslo miss the trash-talking that goes on between Jets and Patriots, Steelers and Ravens, or any other high profile rivalry. No other sport allows this. Baseball players don't do it. David Stern has definitely killed it in the NBA, where vital bench players on the Suns got ejected for standing up after Steve Nash was body-slammed to the ground. Since that series against the Spurs in 07, any form of trash talking has been virtually non-existant. The NFL is the exact opposite. It encourages players to talk trash. It makes money off the bad boy image. That's how you get intense rivalries and bad blood between teams. Good times all around.
4. Football conversations with friends. I actually look forward to these, even when the Jets lose. I always know that Markau will have something insightful to say, no matter what happened on Sunday. OK, that's a lie. Most of the stuff is just chanting "Jets suck!" (very creative). But it's enjoyable. It's a huge discussion topic in a time period (September to November and then the Playoffs in January) when not a lot happens. Conversations also lead to sports betting, another thing that I miss about football. The inherent heckling that goes along with betting is wildly entertaining and probably not healthy for an early teen such as myself. Sadly, Princeton High is not exactly Vegas. I usually wait months for payment from Markau, and the bets almost never go beyond twenty dollars. Oh well. It's still a great way for people to talk and yet another excuse to heckle each other.
3. Free agency and trades. Since this year has a bunch of big names and even a few noteworthy medium names (Vincent Jackson, Peyton Manning, and Nnamdi Asomugha are just some of the bigger names being floated around for possible transitions) on the block, this offseason promises to be even more exciting than the last. However, because of the lockout, no offseason moves could be made. Now that the lockout is in its final stages, what you're about to see is an active offseason of transactions condensed in to a few weeks. It's going to be crazy. One of my favorite parts of football is checking the rumors page every day to see who's been traded. Smart trades and free agent pickups are part of the foundation of a championship team. I enjoy watching that foundation be built and refined. Free agency and trades are my excuse to try and get a little closer to being involved in football in some way all year round. Yes, it's possible.
2. One Day 15 Games. Only in football is it interesting and engaing to flip between multiple games. Some still do this, some have embraced the Red Zone channel. I like to get the best of both worlds and flip between NFL Sunday Ticket and the Red Zone. I also set up my phone to receive text messages when a team scores. It's the most intense thing you will do while wearing pajama pants on your couch. In today's 52 inch LCD/ESPN8/ cell phone era, staying home is an infinitely more enjoyable experience than going to a game. Of course, you don't get the tailgate atmosphere or the stadium vibe at home. But for keeping track of games and a great view, you can't beat the LCD/Red Zone combination. If Chris Johnson runs for an 80 yard touchdown, I know about it. If Devin Hester muffs a punt, I find out very quickly. Football has integrated technology seemlessly to allow fans a more comfortable and info-packed viewing experience. And the number 1 reason why I miss football is........
1. Any Given Sunday. It's been called many different things. Whether it's parity, equal opportunity, or equal stupidity, any given team on any given Sunday can win. In baseball, the worst team beats the best 2 out of 6 times. In football, an upset means something. It may happen multiple times in a Sunday, multiple times in a month, or not at all in a season, but upsets are what makes the NFL great. However, the concept of Any Given Sunday can't be magnified in to a simple football game. It affects all of football. The NFL is the league where any team can go from worst to first through some clever free agent moves and a lot of guts. It's been proven that the same can't be said of baseball. In basketball, that's only true if you play in a big city, have a superstar, or play in a state with no income tax. The concept of Any Given Sunday is football's version of the American Dream. Any Given Sunday is why football exists with no teams in big market cities such as Los Angeles. Any Given Sunday is what makes football great. Every single time I turn on a game, I hope for something special to happen. Not the just the NFL, any sport at all. Most times, I get a forgettable but entertaining game. Once in a while, I see a moment that will stay with me for a long time to come. That's why every football fan will forget about the legal maneuvering going on with the lockout. That's why every football fan will continue to watch a league where the owners and players did everything but yell "We don't care about the fans!" in to a megaphone. Every football fan will still watch the NFL when play resumes. Because we don't just want Sundays back, but we want our Any Given Sundays back.
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