Week 15 Picks

These are going to again be super quick picks because of the fact that I have both a mild cold and a severe case of writer's block. I wrote that past sentence on Wednesday and I'm writing this one Thursday Night. At the rate I was going, I wouldn't be finished with the column by the time Chris Paul decides to flee the Clippers next year. Anyways, here are the picks.

COWBOYS OVER BUCS

Despte my better judgement, I'm picking the Cowboys, even though this is usually the type of game that the Boys lose. I just don't see a way that the Bucs can win with all of the turnovers and poor defensive play we've seen lately. By the way, remember in my NFL Preview when I said that the Bucs might be ready to get in to the playoffs? Actually, no, you shouldn't remember that. Just forget that ever happened. Did I even write an NFL Preview this year? I don't remember anything like that ocurring.

DOLPHINS OVER BILLS

Over the last half of this season, the Dolphins have been the team that Vegas is just begging people to wager against. It's kinda funny that even though the Dolphins have easily covered against Buffalo, Oakland, and Dallas, over 60 percent of Pigskin Pick 'Em players still have Buffalo over Miami this week. Keep trying, Vegas oddsmakers, you're not getting me on this one. Dolphins 27 Bills 13.

SEAHAWKS OVER BEARS

I can't decide which is more depressing, the Bears' offense without Cutler and Forte or the Chiefs' offense without Cassel and Charles. I did point out that the Bears' good luck with injuries last year was bound to swing the other way sometime in my NFL Preview Column (Ohhhh, now I remember writing one! Don't worry, we're going over every major prediction in my NFL Postmortem Column. I feel obligated to defend these predictions to my 40 to 50 readers). Also, I'm still rooting for that far-fetched "Every wild card contender in the NFC is at 9-7" scenario, although the Falcons mauling the Jaguars as I write this isn't helping matters at all. Seahawks win big as Marshawn Lynch (really overused joke coming. wait for it...... wait for it..... just a little longer.......) PUTS THE TEAM ON HIS BACK!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I couldn't resist.

BENGALS OVER RAMS

How depressing does it have to be for Rams fans that just a few months ago, everybody was saying that there was no doubt that Bradford was going to be an elite QB, and now those chances have dropped from 95% to pretty close to 0%? The Sam Bradford era so far has pretty nicely summed up what it was probably like to be a Rams fan these past few years. Dalton connects with Green on three long touchdowns as the Bengals keep their playoff hopes alive for one more week before seeing them crushed in Baltimore.

PACKERS OVER CHIEFS

Hi, Aaron! Can I have your autograph? Oh thanks, you're the greatest! Yeah, make that out to Tyler Palko. No, Palko P-A-L-K-O. Yeah, I was out there today. You didn't see me? (awkward pause) Okay bye Aaron.

TITANS OVER COLTS
After the Colts inevitably lose this game, I'm pretty sure that the making of Anrew Luck Colts jerseys can begin. The Colts have neither the talent nor incentives to win this game, and I wouldn't be surprised if they started benching key players. I love it how all the Colts fans were in an uproar when Caldwell benched the starters in 09, but they're probably overjoyed that they're sitting when they know that it'll all be worth it when Andrew Luck starts to pull an 05 Roethlisberger at the beginning of next season. Titans win big.
SAINTS OVER VIKINGS
The Saints can lock up the division title with a win over possibly the most cursed team in the NFL. That's really all you need to know about this game.
GIANTS OVER REDSKINS
If you're looking for another game to take the points on (if you're betting the spread), then look no further! The Redskins continue to be undervalued and the Giants continue to be overvalued, so this is really the perfect storm of an underdog cover. I still think the Giants win (the Redskins' defense is the proverbial turd in the punchbowl in this bet. Eli should have over 300 yards and two TDs this week.), but the score is gonna be a lot closer than people think.
TEXANS OVER PANTHERS
By the way, this column has now started to bleed in to Friday. This is promising. I might even finish this column before Eddy Curry puts half the lockout weight back on. In a related story, I thought it was a good idea to pick Carolina over Houston in a huge upset. Not a good idea. Yates still has a good week or two left until the crap hits the fan.
LIONS OVER RAIDERS
We always have one of those games late in the season where two teams that did well earlier start to decline and then have to play each other to determine which one will stay alive. I never like picking these games because it's impossible to determine which one is free-falling faster. I'm placing my bets on the Lions because I'm pretty sure it would be a felony to place money on the Raiders after their last two games.
CARDINALS OVER BROWNS
I can't think of anything interesting to write about this game. Sorry. Just know that I tried for like twenty minutes.
PATRIOTS OVER BRONCOS
I love picking one team over another for stupid reasons, and Rick Perry just gave me a great one by comparing himself to Tim Tebow. Forget about the fact that I don't think the Broncos can keep up with the Pats scoring wise, it's pretty much the kiss of death when George Bush III compares himself to you. Sorry Tebow.
JETS OVER EAGLES
I'm legitimately terrified of this game. An Eagles team that still has last gasp playoff hopes facing a Jets team that's tricking everybody in to believing they're good again (three games against Buffalo, Washington, and Kansas City will do that) is a really scary proposition. In a related story, we saw the exact same scenario in 2009. If you take a look at that Jets season and this one, the parallels are pretty scary for Jets fans. However, the Jets are roping me in again and I can't help it. 27-23 Jets. I suddenly feel sick.
CHARGERS OVER RAVENS
My actual upset pick of the week! This seems like the type of game that the Ravens are due to lose. They  are outplaying their talent level by a good win or two, so it's about time that the Chargers submit one of those "dominating performance when they've already either locked up a first round bye or have been eliminated" that we're accustomed to seeing. Chargers knock off the Ravens.
STEELER OVER NINERS
I think the defenses in this game are relatively equal. As long as the Steelers don't completely dominate the Niners' offense (which I don't think they will), expect a defensive and physical struggle. However, the Steelers offense is better than the Niners offense by a little bit, and the Niners' inability to generate touchdowns in the red zone will ultimately be their downfall. As long as the Steelers' offense does not turn the ball over (which they might, the Niners are first in the league in give/take ratio), the score will be  17-12 Steelers.

ONE MAN'S THOUGHTS ON THE BOWL SEASON

                Ever since Weeks 11 and 12 of the college football season, we knew this would happen. LSU wasn’t losing a game, Alabama wasn’t going to lose again, and everybody else might as well have not played their last few games. No matter how many “statements” that teams like Oklahoma State made (I guess beating a top 10 team 44-10 on a neutral field doesn’t qualify as enough of a statement), we knew that this was going to be an LSU-Alabama Championship. I can’t speak for everybody, but I hate this rematch. It was a mind-numbingly boring game the first time, and it looks to be that way again. An LSU-Oklahoma State championship would have been one of the most entertaining championships in recent history, the best offense in college football going up against one of the best defenses in college football. Instead, we all get treated to SnoreFest Part 2. I want to argue. I want to shout that it isn’t fair. I want to force them to make every single change that I wrote about in my Manifesto of College Football Reform (on my blog sportsaccordingtoslice.blogspot.com. Check it out to see some of my earlier columns). But, deep down inside, I really can’t argue this pick. I might hate it, but I can’t argue it. Why? Because these are the two best teams. Those are just the facts of it. With that piece of info in mind, here are some other assorted thoughts on this year’s bowl season in no particular order.

                Before we get to anything else, it’s time for my rant about Boise State. I’m naturally biased towards any non-BCS team that’s good enough to make a BCS bowl, and Boise State just happens to fit the bill. But you can’t tell me that what they did to Boise State isn’t ridiculous (You know I feel strongly about something when I use a double negative). Any system where a team goes 11-1, gets the number 7 ranking, and not only doesn’t get in to the BCS, but gets stuck playing in an insignificant bowl game with six million dollars less of a payout than the Outback Bowl is flawed. I mention the Outback Bowl because that’s where Georgia is playing. You know, the Georgia that Boise State beat 35-21 in their own stadium on opening weekend? Let’s move on before I start smashing my head against my keyboard.

                Quick insignificant note: how embarrassed are Ohio State and Florida fans that their teams are playing in the Taxslayer Bowl? Three years ago, if anybody would even dare to say “In three years, Florida and Ohio State will be 6-6 and playing each other in the Taxslayer Bowl”, that person would have been declared insane. Also, is it just me or does Taxslayer sound like the main character from some kind of bad video game parody? You’re right, it’s just me.

                I know that I’ve briefly touched on this, but I want to make one rule for the media discussing the LSU-Alabama rematch. Please don’t refer to the first game as a “classic SEC matchup” or a “hard-hitting defensive game”. Oftentimes, those are just euphemisms that hide the fact that the game was awful. I watched the whole thing and at no point whatsoever did I ever say to myself “Wow, this is a good game”. Last year’s national championship was a defensive struggle because both sides of the ball played well, it’s just that the defense played better. LSU-Alabama was a completely different story. A combined total of 8-24 on third downs and a combined thirteen penalties for 129 yards is not a defensive struggle, that’s just sloppy football.

                Since Alabama-LSU is a somewhat boring game for the championship rematch, the most interesting and otherwise significant bowl game is Stanford-Oklahoma State. It’s the last chance we get to see Andrew Luck before the combine, as well as top flight receiver Justin Blackmon for OSU. It’ll be Stanford’s balanced attack against Oklahoma State’s punishing offense. I’ll take that game over SnoreFest 2 any day of the week.

     I love college football. If the NFL Lockout had happened, would I gladly give up college football to get it back? In the interest of full honesty, yes. Why do I still love this game? This excerpt from my Manifesto column should give a shortened version of just why; “Nowhere else can a quarterback throw for nine touchdowns like Case Keenum did last week. Nowhere else can you show up at any given stadium, no matter how crappy the team, and be assured that at least 90 percent of the stadium are diehard fans. Nowhere else can more than forty teams enter the season as contenders for a National Championship.”

                On January 9^th, millions of people across America will tune in to watch the National Championship Game between the Alabama Crimson Tide and the LSU Tigers. And even though I don’t like the matchup, I’ll still be one of them.

Week 13 Super Quick Picks

This is gonna be a really short column. Maybe a couple sentences for each game. Don't like doing these, but I've got stuff to do this weekend. Also, I'll begin writing for SIKIDS soon. The things that I write for SI will not appear on the blog and vice versa. I strongly encourage all of my 20-25 readers to check out the SIKIDS blog. Let's get to the picks.

TEXANS OVER FALCONS

I can't wait to pick against Jake Delhomme in the playoffs. That said, the Texans are finally a good team. Expect a sloppy game by both teams (the Falcons are waaaaaay overdue for one) that the Texans win.

BILLS OVER TITANS

Just when you think the Titans are out, they pull you back in. And just when you think they're in, they throw you back out.

BEARS OVER CHIEFS

I've gotta say, the Bears were surprisingly good last week. They'll get a chance to rest this week before playing The Polarizing Tim Tebow. Bears win big.

BRONCOS OVER VIKINGS

It's (wait for it)....... (wait for it)...... (here it comes)..... TEBOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For all the credit that Tebow's been getting, nobody has been giving much credit to the Denver defense. It rose from 27th to 12th over the last few weeks. Put it this way, I think that even the Vikings fans might be rooting for Tebow at the end of this game.

PATRIOTS OVER COLTS

If the Patriots lose this game, I'm pretty sure it would involve a conspiracy to keep the Colts from getting the number one pick. Actually, that wouldn't be a bad idea. Think about it: you have your division locked up, you have nothing much to play for, and your biggest rival is the worst it's been for ages and without its hall of fame QB. Or is this a terrible idea? You're right, it's a terrible idea.

DOLPHINS OVER RAIDERS

The Dolphins are the sneaky good team that nobody wants to play right now. Vegas is just begging you to put money on the Raiders. Sorry, not falling for that one. You know, if I were in Vegas and not writing this from my school's library.

JETS OVER REDSKINS

I'm legitimately terrified of this game because when you think about it, this is Dolphins-Raiders to a lesser extent. A playoff-caliber team playing its worst (the Jets) facing a team that has nothing to lose and has a quarterback that has performed way too well for no logical reason (Rex Grossman)? Uh, let's just stop talking about this game before I have a panic attack.

PANTHERS OVER BUCS

I always place way too much faith in the Panthers because I believe in Cam Newton. The Panthers' defense would usually make me lean the other way, but the Bucs' offense has been so mistake-prone that I honestly believe the Panthers can give up less than 30 points.

RAVENS OVER BROWNS

I'd watch out for this game. The Browns almost upset the Bengals last week, and they'll keep it close with Baltimore for awhile. I would even make this my upset pick of the week, before realizing that picking against the Ravens D against crappy quarterbacks would result in my arrest and eventual banning from picking a game ever again.

COWBOYS OVER CARDINALS

Kevin Kolb might return on Sunday to face the Cowboys...... and nobody cares. I think that Kolb vs Skelton might be a legitimate debate for Cardinals fans at this point. Hey, it's not like the Cardinals gave up a good corner and a second round pick for him.

PACKERS OVER GIANTS

Is it finally time for the Giants collapse to begin? Every year, it's either the Giants or the Cowboys that fall short of expectations. I have a lot less faith in the Giants than I do the Cowboys, so the Giants are my collapse pick for the end of the season. For everybody that has Aaron Rodgers as their fantasy football QB, enjoy a nice fillet of the Giants defense.

NINERS OVER RAMS

I don't actually have to talk about the NFC West, do I? Let me answer my own question: NO.

SAINTS OVER LIONS

Lions, Bills, and at least one NFC East team. They're the collapsing standbys ever year. If you see any of these teams doing well, don't believe they're in the playoffs even for a second until they clinch. They should be two games worse than they are, with miracle comebacks against Dallas and Minnesota (2-9) preventing them from being 5-6. Meanwhile, the Saints are playing their best football of the year. Lions D surrenders four Brees touchdowns as the Lions win.

CHARGERS OVER JAGUARS

Is anybody else excited for a game between sub .500 teams with no playoff implications and two inept offenses? Anyone? No? I'm shocked.

Stay tuned for Week 14 next week.

NFL Week 12 Picks

After a two week hiatus of picks, I'm back. I finished a huge column on the first week and had a lot to do, so I couldn't write picks that week. Last week, Tebow's drive destroyed me (I'm still not quite over it) and I didn't feel like writing them either. However, it's time to get back to the picks. Quick disclaimer before I start the column: I don't pick the Thursday games. If I pick one game, I feel like I have to pick them all, and I don't have the time/ lack of homework needed to do that. Now that we've established that, on to the picks.

FALCONS OVER VIKINGS

I like the Vikings as a sleeper pick for next year. The defense is coming on strong, Ponder is developing in to a good quarterback, and Adrian Peterson is still a veritable monster. They absolutely could have won that Raiders game last week, but a multitude of turnovers and dumb penalties killed their chances. Now those are the Vikings that I know. Meanwhile, Atlanta played a good three quarters against the Titans before almost blowing it at the end. Since they're my Super Bowl Pick (I'll explain why in my NFL Postmortem column at the end of the season), I've gotta have faith in their ability to take care of businuess in home games like this.Falcons win 24-13.

JETS OVER BILLS

The Jets have only lost twice when I've went (2007 against Buffalo and 2010 against the eventual champ Green Bay). Let's just say that I'm not worried about this being the third time. The Jets are beginning to fall apart, but Buffalo just exploded. They rope us in to thinking they're a decent team every few years (2008 for instance), and then they implode down the stretch. Blowouts at the hands of the Jets, Cowboys, and Dolphins in the past three weeks have exposed the Bills as a facade. They may be 5-5, but they're already dead from a playoff perspective in my mind. Then again, so would the Jets if they didn't have three pushovers (Buffalo,Washington, and Kansas City) in the next few weeks. Add to the fact that Fred Jackson looks to be done for the year, and this is a 31-13 Jets win.

BENGALS OVER BROWNS

Due to the Jets' unfortunate playoff situation, I will be vehemently rooting against the Bengals for the rest of the year. It's a shame, because the Bengals are a likeable young team that has a QB with a cool nickname (Andy Dalton as the Red Rifle) and one of the most exciting wide receivers in the league (AJ Green). That said, they're no way that the Bengals blow an easy home game against a team that barely outlasted Jacksonville last week. The Browns rank 29th in total offense, and show no signs of an upward trend without Peyton Hillis (the Madden Curse strikes again!! I wonder whether the Madden Curse or the SI Cover Jinx has been more successful over the years. I'm wondering whether to be glad that Jets don't usually appear on the covers or bummed out because there isn't a single player on the team remotely exciting enough to make one.) Long story short, the Bengals should win this game handily.

TITANS OVER BUCS

A lot of things just haven't gone right for the Bucs this year. LaGarette Blount never really got rolloing until it was too late, Josh Freeman threw too many picks, and the defense couldn't even perform average, much less keep up with all of the offenses' turnovers. The Bucs took the Packers down to the wire last week, so we know how good they can be. The Titans are the exact opposite. You know you're getting a team that's pretty much as close to the word "average" as you'd ever hope to get in the NFL. They come close to beating some good teams, win handily some weeks, look like just another team in other weeks, you never know what you're getting from the Titans. I'll always pick the average team over the box of chocolates team (You never know what you're gonna get. I probably shouldn't be quoting Forrest Gump since I've never actually seen it), especially when the average team is playing at home. Titans win 20-17.

PANTHERS OVER COLTS

Can we at least say that the Panthers are the most entertaining 2-8 team that we've ever seen? What other 2-8 team do you know of has a soon to be top 10 QB and a top 5 wide receiver? I'm gonna go ahead and answer that for you; none. If the defense were just bad instead of  complete trash (allowing over 28 points per game after the team spent close to 70 million dollars resigning "vital" members of the defense. I think that the other 31 teams can agree that it was worth every penny), the Panthers could have easily been 5-5 right now. Meanwhile, the Colts are in full Luck mode. Not only do they not have the talent to consider beating another NFL team right now, they have no incentive to do so with a sure thing looming in the draft. The Panthers win 28-17.

RAMS OVER CARDINALS

Do I really have to talk about this game? No? Fantastic.

TEXANS OVER JAGUARS

I would be genuinely shocked if the Texans lose this game. I honestly don't think that the injury of Schaub will change much of anything. They have the number one defense in the league in terms of yards per game, Arian Foster is a monster, and they haven't had Andre Johnson for all this time. Can you imagine what would have happened if the whole defense, Foster, Schaub, and Johnson stayed healthy throughout the season? I'm firmly convinced that they would be undefeated if that happened. Meanwhile, the Jags are just building towards next year at this point. Remember when the Jags used to be the most exciting team in football with two great running backs and an entertaining defense (2007)? Me too. I miss those days. Fortunately, the Texans have all of that and more. This is the lock of the week, 35-10 Texans.

RAIDERS OVER BEARS

And this is what I meant in my preseason power poll about the 2010 Bears. Those Bears  possibly had the luckiest season in the past decade. No significant injuries, terrible schedule, good turnover differential, won too many close games that they could have easily lost, went 11-5 and got the 2 seed in the NFC (fairly sure we're not seeing that again), got Seattle at home in the divisional round, and nearly beating the Packers in the conference championshpis after getting every conceivable break. You knew that the Bears' luck had to swing in the other direction sometime, right? Well, this is that sometime. I kinda feel bad for them because they were having a great season without the kind of luck that they got last year, and then Caleb Hanie has to ride in and save the day. You're not gonna believe this, but I don't believe in Hanie. Meanwhile, the Raiders get to play in the worst division in football and catch the Bears at the perfect time. Sounds like a 10 point win to me.

Raiders win 20-10.

SEAHAWKS OVER REDSKINS

Can I interest you in a game between sub .500 teams with absolutely no interesting subplots whatsoever? I can't? Fantastic.

BRONCOS OVER CHARGERS

I believe in Tebow now. Not by choice. When you look at this game closely, isn't this exactly the kind of game that Tim Tebow always pulls out? A talented team that hasn't met expectations, can't finish games, and is prone to dumb turnovers and penalties faces off against the Broncos. The score is something like "13-10 Chargers" in the final three minutes. The Chargers have dominated all game, except for a special teams fumble and two picks by Rivers. To be honest, that's exactly how I expect this game to play out. And then Tebow drives the Broncos down the field for a game ending touchdown as Rich Eisen points out once again that "the standings don't have pictures on them". Has any team won in more perplexing ways than the Broncos have over the past few weeks? Has any team found more ways to lose a football game than San Diego? No and no. Broncos win 17-13.

PATS OVER EAGLES

One of the more interesting games of Week 12 is between two preseason Super Bowl Favorites. Personally, I can't think of any conceivable way that the Eagles win with Vince as the quarterback. All week long, all I heard from analysts and talk show hosts was "Here come the Eagles!" and "Should we start Vince over Vick for the rest of the year?" chatter. First of all, the Eagles would pretty much need to win out to approach the playoffs, and the Pats are hitting their stride late in the season. Second of all, here is Vince's statline from the Giants game.

Vince Young: 23-38, 258 Yards, 2 TDs, 3 INTs,  69.0 QB rating

Not quite sure that warrants "starting QB" talk yet. Also, the three picks against a woeful Giants' secondary is somewhat alarming. The Eagles defense will need to play the game of its life against Brady and the Pats offense. I think it can hold Brady to a reasonable amount of yardage, but BenJarvus Green-Ellis has a field day with over 100 yard and at least two touchdowns against a physically inferior Eagles' front seven. 30-24 Pats.

STEELERS OVER CHIEFS

Palko, meet Polamalu, Harrison, and Timmons. Timmons, Harrison, and Polamalu, meet Tyler Palko.

SAINTS OVER GIANTS

 The Giants have holes all over their offense right now. The offensive line is a mess with Will Beaty out, leading to the porous run blocking given to Brandon Jacobs. Jacobs will likely be in again on Monday Night after new broke that Ahmad Bradshaw did not practice yet again, raising severe doubt about his status for Monday Night's game. Another game in which a team was caught at the perfect time. The Saints are well rested, having just come off of their bye week. Expect the Saints to come out with their best effort of the year and the Giants to come out with their worst. Saints win 38-21.

I'll be back with Week 13 next week. Hasta le Vista everybody.

The Manifesto of College Football Reform

The most addictive thing on the planet is power. Look through an average history textbook and you'll find plenty of examples. Power only causes a want for even more authority, more control. Such is the case in the college football system. There are so many problems with the current system that I probably can't list them all, but they have one unmistakable trait in common. One thing that anybody who has heard any reports about reallignment and/or read the first three sentences of this article knows. They all trace their roots back to a want for power. Re-allignment, the BCS structure, and rampant cheating in college sports can all be traced back to the power struggle between conferences, TV Networks, and various individual schools. Fortunately, there are common sense solutions to all of these problems that I've spent way too much time thinking about. Why? Because I love college football. I can't emphasize this enough. Nowhere else can a quarterback throw for nine touchdowns like Case Keenum did last week. Nowhere else can you show up at any given stadium, no matter how crappy the team, and be assured that at least 90 percent of the stadium are die hard fans (not fairweather fans, not "I'll only go if I can sit in a luxury box" wimp fans. If you watch a college game and an NFL game in succession, you'll see what I mean). Nowhere else can more than fourty teams enter the season as contenders for a National Championship. Unfortunately, the system is flawed because it is manipulated by agents, boosters, athletic directors, and others that are far more cunning than the nineteen year old athletes that they stand to make money from. Since all of these problems are directly related (except for cheating, which is a problem apart from the others), let's start with the BCS System.
                                            BCS BUSTED
Ah, the BCS. The topic of so much debate over the years seemingly has no solution. A quick review of the arguments before we break down the inadequacies of the current system, the BCS is supported by a system of coach's polls and computer formulas that determine bowl games and, most importantly, which two teams should play in the National Championship Game.. BCS supporters argue that the current system is absolutely fine. They say that the National Championship should be between the best teams that play the toughest schedules and that it gives the regular season more weight because every season is like a playoff. BCS detractors argue that teams that aren't part of the Royal and Ancient (named after Augusta's members) of college football (TCU and Boise State in recent years) are unfairly treated. They say that a playoff is the only answer to the question of Who is the Best Team? After a while, so many columnists and bloggers have an opinion on the subject that we forget what we're even arguing about and end up simply insulting each other without coming up with solutions. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing I love more than a good trash talking session, but it gets to a point where it fails to be funny any more and ends up as annoying and counter-productive.
       My take on the BCS is that it had a little bit of the right idea. After all, it doesn't make sense that Boise State should be able to whipsaw through an easy schedule and emerge undefeated and play in the title game while Florida might lose twice to LSU and Alabama and end up playing in the ShakeWeight Bowl against Akron. However, it has been morphed from a noble effort to determine the most fair way to choose a national champion to a cash grab for the nation's top historical teams. This is how you end up with a team that went 0-12 in 2009 (Washington) earning more BCS money than a team that went undefeated in that same year (the Sugar Bowl Champion, Utah). According to an article written by Brian Murphy, each automatic qualifying conference takes home roughly 22 million dollars. A total of approximately 25 million dollars is split among the five non-qualifying conferences. See what I mean about a cash grab now? If greedy athletic directors or BCS officials recognized Boise State or TCU as legitimate teams that should play in AQ conferences, their pockets would suddenly start to feel a little bit lighter. There is absolutely a caste system in college football, and teams that are unfortunate enough to have just become good recently are still at the bottom. Not only should the cash grab be ended (remember, wealth and power are the two most addictive things on the planet), but it is an unfair way of choosing a National Champion. The result is that fewer and fewer teams are scheduling the "tough games" that supposedly give the BCS schools a huge advantage over non-BCS schools because they know that they can't sniff the National Championship with one loss. Inversely, teams like Boise State are constantly saddled with crappy schedules (so the computers and polls can again point to lack of schedule strength) with one marquee opponent thrown in (in hopes that they'll lose and the representation problem will be put to rest for another year). The BCS was an honest attempt at proving who was the best that was corrupted when unequal money distribution and the very notion of computers and coaches' polls were added.
  Every single "BCS sucks!" person wants a playoff. Everything should be centered around a playoff. Playoff, playoff, playoff. First, let's ask ourselves two quick questions. The first one is; how would playoffs for the top teams work? It's a heck of a lot easier to schedule one game than potentially three (for an eight team playoff), plus there's the issue of logistics. Bowls are scheduled at a bit of a dicey time, with Winter Break and final exams looming within a few weeks of each other. It's very easy to schedule one game, but two or three with a week's break in between each? That's a logistical nightmare before you even get to travel planning and the like. Second of all, a college football playoff will be just like the BCS. How, you ask? With the BCS, there is usually an undefeated team that does not get to play for the National Championship. With a playoff, the undefeated teams can duke it out. OK, that's great. Now how do you propose chosing the one loss teams that get in to the playoff? We still have the same problem as before, just in a different form. So what's the solution? Keep the BCS.
   What? But Andrew, you said you'd come up with a new solution! Well, I did. Take a deep breath. I'm going to put the next part in italics because it's super important. Ready? Here we go. We can have the BCS and a playoff at the same time. How? Through strength of schedule reform. First of all, take any and all power that athletic directors have or ever considered having in terms of making the schedule out of their hands. Let them whine about it. They'll live. Then, the conferences will be fixed so that there are no good teams in crappy conferences that can't play any significant in-conference games (more on that plan in the realignment section). Then, establish a hierarchy where performance over the past few years dictates what kind of schedule you have to play out of conference. This way, teams like Ohio State can't schedule patsies in out of conference play to get easy wins. After I break up the SEC a little bit (it pains me to have to do it, but the SEC is so far above everyone else it's ridiculous. Something needs to be done), the talent level in between the conferences won't be that uneven. That way, good teams always play the toughest opponents from their own conference. As for out of conference, have different levels of schedule toughness. For instance, if you're Alabama, you would get the toughest schedule, we'll call it a Class 5 Schedule, because you've had a great deal of success in recent years. A class 5 schedule might dictate playing at four pre-season top thirty five teams (top twenty five seems a bit too extreme), including at least one top five team. Class 4 would be somebody like an LSU who is great now, but has only been very good in recent years, etc. College football advertises that every week is a playoff when it isn't, now every week would be a playoff. Also, take all votes away from coaches and computers. They will not be settling this debate. All votes should go to studio analysts who actually have time to watch every game and can judge for themselves who is the best. Not only would they not have a bias, they would absolutely have more general knowledge about every team in the country than most coaches. The answer to the BCS money problem will be explained later in the realignment section. Under this plan, the BCS people would still be happy because they get to keep their bowl system. Playoff advocates would be happy because strength of schedule wouldn't matter nearly as much any more and good non-AQ teams would get to prove that they belong. Look, this system is not perfect, but it's as close as you can get to a perfect way of determining a national champion fairly and equitibly. If anybody has a reason why this should not happen, I urge them to tell me why. Until then, I can see no good reason not to carry out this plan.
                                                     REALIGN THIS
          Realignment is not a new college football phenomenon. Contrary to popular belief, NCAA officials do not all gather in one room with a giant roulette wheel, pull out random colleges, and spin the wheel to see what conference they end up in (although that definitely seems plausible given the events of the past year). No, realignment has been happening since the beginning of college football. Usually, it's a moderate change designed to strengthen conferences and make sure that everything is geographically in the right place. In that context, realignment is one of the best things to happen in your sport. However, this is an unprecedented type of realignment spurred by negative things. First of all, we have never seen this many teams jump ship to different conferences. It all starts with some college becoming ticked off that another college just signed its own network deal or that conference's commissioner says the Big 12 is doomed, it could be whatever. Some people, who I assume have no respect for the traditions of the game, say that realignment is good. It leads to a playoff,  more conference championships, and more revenue. All that you need to do is block out everything else and keep focusing on those dollar signs.
     Then, there are the people that hate it, AKA Me. I know that this is technichally a complex issue with many different opinions and angles, but it's about as black and white to me as anything. The whole reason why we have conferences is to group teams by geography. If you're not going to do that any more, why have conferences? Better yet, why not just put Alabama, Ohio State, LSU, Oklahoma, USC, and all the other most prestigious teams in to one conference? Sounds crazy, right? Well, it's not that much of a stretch. We've already gotten over the biggest obstacle to this happening, which is people caring about what makes geographical sense. The initial exodus from the Big 12 never needed to happen. The exiting schools had legitimate complaints that Texas was getting preferential treatment, and they were right. However, Big 12 comissioner Dan Baby (real name: Dan Beebe) continued to do everything but give important speeches while making the Hook 'Em Horns sign. The NCAA refused to do anything about this, and now they seem genuinely shocked that everybody wants to jump ship. OK, the first realignment could have been easily stopped, but it at least made sense. Suddenly, Pitt and Syracuse are leaving for the ACC, which would be a great idea if they both weren't at least 300 miles from the ocean. This seems significant because, you know, it is called the Atlantic Coastal Conference. Why did that need to happen? Why exactly did the Big East need to break up? Why didn't anybody have the foresight to nip the Big 12 Problems in the bud before it grew unmanagable. Why? Why!?!?!?!?!?!?
         Here's the solution, and it's gonna be a doozy. First, seperate football and non-football conference alignment, since it's clear that top universities care 10X more about football than any other college sport, except for basketball in some schools. Next, restore everything to geographical order. If this were to happen, and I hope it will some day, the conferences would shake out like this (some conferences would have ten teams, some would have twelve, based on concentration of quality teams in a particular part of the country. Every conference would have a championship.)
SEC: LSU, Ole Miss, Missisippi State, Alabama, Auburn,  Florida, Florida State, Miami, Tennessee, Georgia
ACC: Vanderbilt, Georgia Tech, South Carolina, Clemson, North Carolina, Wake Forest, Duke, NC State, Virginia, Maryland, Virginia Tech, Navy
Big East: Rutgers, Connecticut,Cincinatti, West Virginia, Syracuse, Pittsburgh, Louisville, Kentucky, Army, Boston College
Midwestern Conference (formerly known as Big Ten): Ohio State, Michigan, Michigan State, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Northwestern, Iowa, Purdue, Notre Dame, Penn State
Big 12: Arkansas, Missouri, Kansas, Kansas State, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Nebraska, Texas, Texas Tech, Texas A&M, TCU, Colorado
PAC-12: Boise State, Arizona, Arizona State, USC, Cal, Stanford, Oregon, Oregon State, UCLA, Washington, Washington State, Utah
Independents: South Florida, Baylor, Iowa State, BYU
With a few exceptions (such as making South Florida go independent to reduce the SEC to ten teams), each move I made makes geographical sense. The independent teams are that way because there is simply not enough space in each conference for everything to make sense, so they are independent for the time being. However, I am including a clause that says if an independent team (or a team from a non-AQ conference, which includes every conference not listed above plus the independents) performs exceptionally well over a select period of time, then they can move up from a non-AQ conference to an AQ conference. The team that has consistently performed the worst over that same time period will fall down to a non-AQ conference. This way, good teams from the Mountain West, Independents, or even Conference USA can have a chance to play the top teams if they deserve it, while teams that do terribly in AQ conferences are relegated to the "minor leagues" for a while. This also solves the inequity in money distribution between BCS conferences and non BCS conferences. If you become good enough to be a part of a power conference, then you earn the BCS money that befits your status as one of the elite in college football. If you're terrible for too long in a power conference, then you don't deserve to get that BCS money.  Not only were the conferences just un-realigned, but the money distribution was just solved too. Also, another way was just found for good non-BCS teams to compete with the top brass of college football. It's somewhat scary that university presidents haven't thought of this stuff yet.
                                                 BCS BOOSTED?
     And now we've come to the skeleton in college football's closet. When the Miami scandal broke over the Summer, everybodyn seemed shocked. Every news entity and website started printing column and news features with ominous titles like "How Far Has it Gone?" or "The Untold Story of College Football's Underworld". OK, I might have made the last one up. But they were all creepy titles that could easily have been transplanted in to a political action thriller along the lines of "State of Play". I, on the other hand, was shocked that it took so long for everyone to notice. Cheating isn't anytyhing new. The most sever case was the use of the death penalty against SMU and the Pony Express backfield, but that's hardly the only case. Within the past decade, every team in the SEC except Vanderbilt has committed some kind of major rules violation. Many of them have committed several. Why? Well, let's start with school revenue. College football's total profit topped a billion dollars last year for the first time in its history. The largest cut of that revenue went to Texas, whose profit topped 65 million dollars (on a side note, TCU, the rose bowl winner, only made 20 million dollars in total profit. That's barely enough to break even). Inequity? You tell me. Meanwhile, college football players don't get paid. Only the players who are good enough to make it to the NFL have an incentive to play well, and that incentive is related to the NFL and not to their college. On the one hand, I think it's ridiculous that college kids should be paid to play a game. On the other hand, the school is making money off of them, They should get some kind of benefit.
     The NCAA has recently passed historic measures to combat the spread of cheating and boosterism. These measures call for giving each player a $2,000 stipend every year. I can already tell that's not going to be enough. The solution to this problem is very simple, players do not get paid unless the wealth is spread between all universities and a seperate pool is established for player funding. 2,000 dollars is chump change compared to the illegal benefits that sleazy agents and boosters supply players with. Unless we can find some type of revenue sharing method or other way that players can take home a significant amount, then the illegal benefits paid to the top players will far outstrip the stipend. I don't have the answers for how to attack the base of the problem, but I can solve the product of that problem; cheating. My plan would be very simple. The death penalty is not to be used unless the words "program wide conspiracy" or "felonies" are being thrown around. Instead, why not give players and teams half-death penalties? Making a constantly cheating team regret their decision by not allowing them to field a competitive team would cripple them, but not hurt the whole conference. For example, my punishment for Miami would be a 5 year bowl ban and a proviso that restricts them from contacting recruits rated by private agencies above three out of five stars (or whatever rating system they use). This ban can be lifted after three years if Miami has no violations of any kind in their sports programs. For the individual players accepting these deals, suspensions and fines are satisfactory for minor offenses. For major violations, their actions will affect their team and their future. For example, some offenses might warrant a bowl ban for the team or a two year long ban for a player. In extreme cases, an offense could warrant a player not being able to play football in the NCAA or NFL ever. Now no booster with half a brain would dare try to tamper with the athletes, lest he risk losing a valuable player for his own university or NFL team. This is a simple yet effective response to cheating in the NCAA.
These are all simple solutions to huge problems, and they might not be the best. But at least it's something, which is very much needed in a college football climate where we have nothing in the way of long term solutions.

NFL WEEK 9 SUPER QUICK PICKS

I have too much homework to do this weekend, so I've gotta go through these really quick. For those of you who feel betrayed, don't worry. There will be a huge college football column coming in a week or so. For now, here are the quick picks.

FALCONS OVER COLTS The Falcons are beginning to find their stride after a poor showing early in the season. There is nothing to be said for a team as sucky as the Colts right now, but it does show how much of an impact Peyton Manning had. 11-5 and division champs with him to candidate for 0-16 without him? Geez.

JETS OVER BILLS I am definitely being a homer here, but I actually believe that the Jets can pull this one off. The Jets are coming off the bye playing a team that has thrived on turnovers and big plays. The problem with thriving on turnovers and big plays is that there are games where you don't get them. So far this season, the Bills haven't done so well when they don't get turnovers. As long as Mark Sanchez does not do anything stupid, this is absolutely a winnable game for the Jets.

TEXANS OVER BROWNS Both the Texans and the Browns rank among the top seven in both scoring defenses and total defenses. Did we ever think that would happen? Ever? In a million years?  Just nod your head no. The only difference is, the Texans offense is competent. The Browns offense, well, um, Colt McCoy speaks for himself.

CHIEFS OVER DOLPHINS  Ugh, the Chiefs have lucked in to some garbage victories this year. Carson Palmer's first game in Oakland, Phillip Rivers dropping the ball on the final kneel down (no joke), and the comeback win over the Colts. This is going to be another one of those years where everything breaks just right for the Chiefs (I would say the Raiders instead, but nothing good ever happens to the Raiders) and just wrong for the Chargers. Get ready for win number five in a row for the Chiefs over a tanking Dolphins team.

BUCS OVER SAINTS This is one of the reasons that I'm only in the 75 percentile on ESPN.com. I overreact waaaay too much to the past week's performance. I know it shouldn't be this way, but I'm a fervent believer that a team is only as good as their last week's performance, and the Saints crapped their pants last week (especially the defense, who might have given up by the end of the game). Also, never underestimate a team coming off the bye. Bucs win.

NINERS OVER REDSKINS The Niners are exactly the type of team that I would want if I were a head coach. These guys  always do just enough to win, get their yards 4 or 5 at a time, never let up a big play, and control time of possession. And the Redskins are exactly the team that would give me a heart attack if I were a coach. Then again, Dan Snyder would give me a stroke before I even saw the team. Niners win big.

BENGALS OVER TITANS I'm finally sold on the Bengals. It took some time, but the Bengals are finally being recognized as a legitimate team. I never thought I'd say this, but the defense (who would have thought?) is coming on strong, also in the top five in total defense. As for the Titans, they are  a slightly better than average team that can't beat contenders. I'm not quite sure that the Bengals are contenders yet, but I'm willing to consider them semi-contenders if they can beat the Titans (it's a tougher game than you might think). And I never thought I'd say that about the Bengals.
RAIDERS OVER BRONCOS Get ready for the worst game of the week! Also, get ready for the two "really terrible quarterbacks that get way more media coverage than they should because they were big names at one time" guys. This seems like one of those games where Tebow suddenly catches fire in the fourth quarter and starts spewing out lucky throws that somehow hit the target every time. However, I don't think that will be this game. I bought in to Tebow Mania a little bit (OK, that's a lie, it was a lot. It led me to ideas like "Hey, I think Denver could upset Detroit this week". Undoubtedly one of my most embarassing moments in my history of NFL Picks), but now I'm buying out. The Raiders win big.
PACKERS OVER CHARGERS Does anything ever go right for the Chargers? Ever? I thought it was bad enough that Tebow and the Broncos almost beat them, but a fumbled snap on a kneel down? That just stuck a fork in the Chargers for the next few weeks. Let's just say that I don't like their chances going up against Aaron Rodgers and the Packers.
RAMS OVER CARDINALS Rams win. Let's just move on from this game before I collapse on my keyboard.
GIANTS OVER PATRIOTS Yes, I'm a homer. Don't judge me. However, I do actually have a reasonable explanation for this one. It boils down to the simple fact that the Patriots' pass defense is awful. I can't even express how terrible it is. It seemed like every single play, a different wide receiver was open for the Steelers. It was honestly the most terrible performance from a single unit on offense or defense since the Jets' travesty of a line in Baltimore. Also, Eli Manning's been having a pretty good year. No, really. He has. I'm not kidding anybody. Since Ahmad Bradshaw went down, the Giants are going to be forced to throw a lot. I say the Giants win a shootout 45-42.
STEELERS OVER RAVENS Two teams going in opposite directions meet in a divisional clash. The Ravens lost to the Jags and nearly lost to the Cardinals. That's more than a little alarming. Again, I'm not jumping off the Ravens bandwagon quite yet. I do, however, have renewed confidence in the Steelers. This goes back to my Week 1 column about not bailing on your picks too early. Well, I was half right (I can be occasionally). The Steelers' defense stymies Joe Flacco as Pittsburgh gets a crucial division win.
EAGLES OVER BEARS Don't look now, but the Eagles are starting to turn things around. I didn't really count their win over the Redskins, but a thrashing of Dallas last week was somewhat impressive. It will be a crucial test for the Eagles, a team with some fragile momentum, to take on the Bears. How the Eagles handle Matt Forte will be the key to the game. I don't think the Eagles can handle Forte, but they'll do everything else (running, and pass defense namely) just good enough to eke out a win and get back to .500. Eagles 24-23.

NFL Quick Hits

I dont have the time to do a full game, so allow me just a few quick thoughts on each game along with my picks.
COLTS OVER TITANS I'm beginning to wonder if 15+ years of Andrew Luck is worth degrading your dignity this much. In other news the Titans have been exposed as pretenders that have benefited from an easy schedule as well as a week two win over Baltimore in which the Ravens gave a C- effort after an emotional win over Pittsburgh. Still, the Titans win this one and Chris Johnson owners might finally get some production this week.
SAINTS OVER RAMS I can't think of a team that's more helpless than the Rams right now. They can't even Suck for Luck because they already have Sam Bradford at QB. Can the Saints win by more than 40 again? No. But it is in play. Saints win big.
GIANTS OVER DOLPHINS Wow, the early games really suck this week. The first three picks of the week involve over .500 teams playing the only three winless teams left in the NFL. Parity isn't dead yet, but it's at least in the hospital right now. Giants win big.
PANTHERS OVER VIKINGS And the first semi-interesting game of the week is between two last place teams. I do like what I saw from Christian Ponder last week. No, he didn't unleash the "I just whipped a pass five yards over a wide open guy" face that he trademarked at Florida State, but he did come close in the last drive. I actually liked what I saw from him. Composed, made good decisions with the football (for the most part), and he didn't try to win the game by himself. Of course, I like what I'm seeing from Cam Newton way more. Panthers win 23-17.
RAVENS OVER CARDINALS 4 awful games in the first 5! We're on pace for a record. The Steelers-Pats and Eagles-Cowboys games better be great to make up for this mess. The Ravens didn't show up yet again last week in an embarassing 12-7 loss to Jacksonville. Of course, Chris Berman (Definitely in my top three favorite broadcasters of all time) subscribes to the theory that one time is a mistake, two times is a trend, three times is a problem. I'm not jumping off the Ravens bandwagon yet, but I'm close. Ravens win 21-17.
TEXANS OVER JAGUARS And we're 5 for 6!!!! Can Roger Goodell call an emergency meeting to completely reshuffle this whole week? Please? And while we're here, did anybody luck out more than the Jags last week? If they got the Ravens that the Jets had to play (Yes, I'm a homer), it would have been 38-7. Possibly higher. My point is, the Texans are gonna light the Jags up like a Christmas Tree. 31-10 is the final.
REDSKINS OVER BILLS My first upset pick of the week is the Redskins over the Bills. I'm still not buying the Bills, they're a decent offense and a terrible defense benefiting from an average  schedule (wins over Kansas City, Oakland, and Philly) and a lucky win over a marquee division opponent (a win over New England in which they trailed by 21 and Tom Brady threw four picks. I'm between 95 and 100 precent sure that's never going to happen again). I smell one of those "Easily winnable games that both teams don't show up for" games. 10-6 Redskins.
BRONCOS OVER LIONS BANG!! Upset pick number two! I'm getting off the Lions bandwagon until Stafford is completely healthy and Best comes back. Until then, the Lions are operating with the worst running back corps in the league and a quarterback that's one sack away from  being out for the season (Not joking, the possibility definitely exists). I don't believe in Tebow, but this should be another game where neither team shows up and the final score is something like 7-6. I hate Week 8.
BENGALS OVER SEAHAWKS I'm starting to like the Bengals' offense. Dalton and Green are starting to develop timing and chemistry skills that are essential for an offense to work. The Seahawks, on the other hand, well uh, dont have that. T-Jax and Charlie Whitehurst wouldn't know timing if it hit them in the face. Bengals win by two scores. My god Week 8 sucks.
NINERS OVER BROWNS Everybody is calling this game an upset special, and that's my queue to go against it. Also, I feel like people are calling this game an upset because there's nothing else to call an upset. I mean, did you see the Browns last week? That's possibly the worst showing a team has ever given in a win. Now they have to travel to the West Coast to play a Niners team coming off the bye. Niners win big. Ugh, Week 8 is still awful.
STEELERS OVER PATRIOTS One of the two good games in Week Eight along with Eagles-Cowboys. It might be just me or my bias, but the Pats look relatively beatable this year. They dominated last year because they controlled the clock and obliterated everyone else in the turnover margin, not to mention they were great on Third Down. I don't really see that from this year's Pats. Are they good? Absolutely. But, I think that the Steelers finally break their losing streak to the Pats by keeping the chains moving and getting a few big turnovers. Steelers edge the Pats 27-23.
EAGLES OVER COWBOYS I was never sold on the Eagles (refer to my column on them after the Asomugha signing as proof), but I've also never been sold against them. I never thought that they would be the indestructible super team that everybody thought they wuold be, but I've picked with them more times than against them this year. It's kind of like holding bad cards in a Poker game and trying to win big money just bluffing through the round. This pick is the equivalent of going all in with a pair of twos. Eagles win 20-17 after a game killing pick by Romo.
CHARGERS OVER CHIEFS I'm still not buying the Chiefs. If they pull out a win over the Chargers, that would go a long way towards winning the AFC West and, who knows, I might even believe in them a little. However, I don't think that will happen. Chargers win 23-14.

Welcome to Week 7

Sorry for not writing a column last week, I had a lot of work to do. Also, I'm lazy. It's too bad, because I went 11-2 with my picks last week. I know it's difficult to believe, but it happened. Anyways, here are your picks for Week 7 of the NFL.
LIONS OVER FALCONS I believe in the Lions almost as much as I still don't believe in the Falcons ( a win over the Panthers really did nothing to change my point of view). The Lions, for the first time since their Week 1 win over Tampa, did not play a complete game and they still almost beat the third best team in the NFC. That's an essential trait that a playoff team needs to have, the ability to win without playing their best. It's a skill that the Falcons obviously don't have (and might not develop for the rest of the season). Lions win 30-17.
BEARS OVER BUCS Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the NFL in London! I always love the International series for a variety of reasons. The fans never quite know how to react to two teams they don't care about, the turf is a mess and slows the games down, and most of the time it's rainy. Actually, on second thought, I hate the International Series (at least in London). The Bears fixed a lot of their issues in a dominating win in Minnesota last week, and I wouldn't be surprised of the Bucs suffer a hangover after a big win against New Orleans. I'm picking the Bears in an upset.
BROWNS OVER SEAHAWKS Do I have any confidence at all in Charlie Whitehurst? Uh, no. Any confidence in him being better than Tarvaris Jackson? It's a tough call. I guess my point in all of this is that if the QB you're starting this week has no value over T-Jax, things have gone horribly wrong for you. I think the Browns crawl back to .500 as Peyton Hillis guts out his injury to rush for his first 100 yard game of the season.
DOLPHINS OVER BRONCOS It's TEBOOOOOOW!!!!! Geez, for all the antipathy towards Tebow in the offseason (they made him seem like a cross between Ryan Leaf and JaBustus Russell), things have  certainly changed. I was on the bus home talking about fantasy football with Ray, and he spent 10 minutes trying to sell me on Tim Tebow being his starting fantasy quarterback for the rest of the year. No, seriously. That conversation happened. I couldn't believe it. The guy can't pass, and his biggest strength, according to NFL Scouts, is salvaging busted plays. Essentially, he needs the called play to fail for him to succeed. HE NEEDS THE PLAY TO FAIL FOR HIM TO SUCCEED. Does that sound like a quality starting QB to you? Throw in the fact that the Dolphins' D (who can still overperform against struggling offenses) can still get after the quarterback (as long as the O-Line sucks, in which case Denver is a godsend) and you have an underdog. Overall, this is just about as interesting as a Week Seven matchup between two teams with a combined one win is going to get. Dolphins win 23-14.
TITANS OVER TEXANS I'm going with another upset pick this week. The Titans. Never underestimate the power of a team coming off the bye. They have a full two weeks to get healthy and work out any kinks that might still be causing problems. In the Titans' case, that means improving a porous secondary that surrendered five touchdowns to Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers' receiving corps. The Titans also have to work on getting the running game rolling. The offensive line has not lived up to pre-season expectations, and Chris Johnson is having an anti-contract year (a self-invented term for when somebody signs a big contract and then "suffers" (cough, cough) a "dip in effort, I mean, production"). Without Andre Johnson, the Texans' offense is forced to run through Arian Foster to some extent, and the Ravens made them pay for it. The Titans take definitive control of the division with a big win in this one.
JETS VS CHARGERS The Jets, like the Bears, fixed a few of their issues in a 24-6 win over the tanking Miami Dolphins (Suck for Luck is really up in the air between the Dolphins, Rams, and Colts). However, many issues still remain. The chief problem that still needs to be fixed is a lack of discipline on defense. Missed tackles and overpursuing was a huge problem for the Jets all night. They will need to be ironed out before facing the Explosive Chargers' Offense. Really, I don't have a lot of confidence in the Chargers. Their four wins came against teams that, combined, have just as many wins as the Chargers. In those games, dumb turnovers and red zone issues were huge problems for San Diego, and I don't expect them to get better. Jets win 17-14.
PANTHERS OVER REDSKINS The weekly edition of "Game that there is nothing interesting to comment on". Well, except for one thing. If you're substituting John Beck in for Rex Grossman, something has gone terribly horribly wrong. I'm picking the Panthers to finally win.
CHIEFS OVER RAIDERS Who assigns the values to NFL Players in trades? I've always wanted to know this. Who on Earth thought that Carson Palmer was still worth one, possibly two first round picks? Who? Not only that, but reports are starting to leak that Palmer might not even start this week. Nice job, Mark Davis. The apple fell about three inches from the tree on that one. I'm picking the Raiders to win this game just because I think the Chiefs are much closer to what we saw in Week One than what we saw in their past two wins. The Raiders get a win, but their playoff hopes as far as I'm concerned were dropped in to a pit as soon as Jason Campbell went down.
STEELERS OVER CARDINALS The Cardinals' season has been both encouraging and depressing. We've seen some good things from Kolb and Fitzgerald, but not as much as we thought we would. The Cards have shown signs of being an OK team (going up big on the Giants), but they haven't been able to produce any wins (1-4, including a fourth quarter collapse to the Giants). On the other hand, the Steelers look like they're regaining their swagger after beating Jacksonville and reclaiming their position as one of the AFC's elite. The Steelers only have one or two tough games left on their schedule, so it's entirely plausible that they could finish 13-3 with the AFC's top seed. Steelers easily beat the Cardinals after a four pick day from Kolb.
COWBOYS OVER RAMS It's happening again. The annual talk about "Hey, what's up with the Cowboys?" is in full swing, sure to be led on NFL Gameday Morning by Michael Irvin.
Irvin: " (imagine in a loud, annoyingly raspy voice)THE COWBOYS NEED TO PLAY PHYSICAL TODAY! THE COWBOYS NEED TO MAKE BIG PLAYS IN BIG SITUATIONS!!!!! (Rest of speech unintelligible. Might be coughing up sandpaper stuck in throat)"
Every single year, it seems like every analyst in America has a new opinion on the Cowboys. Personally, I lost interest in about every Cowboys angle after 2008. Romo's a choke artist, they're never properly rated (either so much talk about being overrated that they become underrated or vice versa), they win games that they should win, and they never fail to disappoint in big games. The Cowboys mop up the Rams, and then disappear next week against Philly.
PACKERS VS VIKINGS Remember back in my NFL Preview when I said that the NFL is set against repeat Super Bowl Champions and that a team would have to be way ahead of everyone else to win again? I'm beginning to feel that the Packers are way ahead of everyone else. They're closest competition in the NFC right now (statistically speaking) are the Niners and the Lions. As much as it's fun to watch two likable surprise teams, the reality is they don't hold a candle to the Packers. Their offense is amazing, Aaron Rodgers might be the best QB of the next decade (unless Andrew Luck is as good as advertised), and the Packers might just go undefeated. I don't think they will (too many things need to go right, you can't have any significant injuries, and you have to be pretty lucky along the way) but I wouldn't be surprised if they did. At this point, there's not that much to be said for their opponent, the Vikings. McNabb is washed up and it's time to look towards the future. It's Ponder time in Minnesota, and I don't think he'll forget his first NFL start after the Packers cover the spread twice or thrice over against the Vikes.
SAINTS OVER COLTS If only I were around in Eliminator challenge still (Sigh). What is there to be said for this game? The Colts have been self-destructing for weeks, and there's no point in stopping it now, not with Andrew Luck waiting in the next draft.  The Saints win big over the Tanking Indianapolis Colts and regain the lead in the NFC South.
RAVENS OVER JAGUARS This is quite possibly the worst situation that Blaine Gabbert could be thrust in to right now. A decomposing offense playing on a national stage against one of the best defenses in the league that also likes to use lots of confusing formations? That's slaughter. That's the perfect storm of sacks, mistakes, and blank stares on the bench as the ESPN crew shows discouraging stats. I'm looking forward to it. Ravens win big.
        

Welcome to Week 5

First off, I would like to give a very big shout-out to everybody reading this column via the scholastic play by play sports broadcasting camp mainpage, where this blog is among the three blogs of the week. I would like to thank the counselors there for supporting me and the blog as well as all the friends that I made there. I wish I would have watched Anchorman enough times to think of a quote to leave here, but I haven't. I'll just have to leave the Anchorman references to Jon Jaffe. Anyways, let's get to the picks.
                                                     EAGLES VS BILLS
Blowing a 20 point lead to the 49ers? I didn't know the Eagles suddenly played in Boston (sorry SBC Boston campers. Would it help if I said that Rug Burn Ball seems fun?). The Eagles have way too much talent on both sides of the football for another collapse to happen, but that's what we thought after the first two losses. Other teams have exploited the fatal flaw in the Eagles' defense, they are tremendously soft in between the tackles. We saw a little bit of this on their Week One win, where Steven Jackson busted off a long touchdown run before getting injured. The Eagles rank 30th in the league against the run, surrendering over 120 yards per game. Frank Gore absolutely crushed the Eagles up the middle in the final drive, finishing the day with 127 yards. The Bills blew another lead (through the first four weeks, four leads of 20 or more have been erased. The most times that has happened in an entire season before was four. If there were ever a tombstone for the four-minute drill and fundamental football, the 2011 season would be it) to the Cincinatti Bengals. Up 20-6, the Bills watched the Bengals rally back for a 23-20 win. I can't believe I just typed that sentence. Anyways, I like the Eagles' chances against one of the worst defenses in the league (25 points per game given up so far). The Eagles get back on track with a 30-17 win.
                                          JAGUARS VS BENGALS
Have you ever had something where there was two choices and you would always pick the wrong one? That's kind of where I'm at with Cincy right now. I'm 0-4 picking games that involve the Cincinatti Bengals. At this point, I'm trying to figure out what my gut is telling me so I can go against it. My gut tells me Cincy for this one because Jacksonville is awful and the Bengals finally have some momentum, but I'm going against that advice. The Bengals are a young team that came through with a huge win last week, so you would expect a let-down facing a bad team on the road. Maurice Jones-Drew hasn't been able to get anything going as of late, and he's too good to stay quiet for this long (which is why I'm trying to get him on the cheap in my fantasy league). Expect Jones-Drew to have a big game and Gabbert to notch his first win as a pro as the Jags beat the Bengals.
                                     TITANS VS STEELERS
Yep, I dont believe in the Steelers anymore. I just watched my AFC Super Bowl Pick get burned by Arian Foster (not really that bad until you remember that he was just coming back from a strained hamstring and Gary Kubiak told the media that he hoped to limit Foster to 15 or 20 carries. Eventually, he was willing to risk injury to his star RB just to take advantage of the success he was having). That's especially disturbing because I thought that would be the one problem that the Steelers would never have in my lifetime, a lack of physicallity (I think that's a word).  The Steelers were destroyed at the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball, and that led to big chunks of yardage for the Texans. Then we have the Titans, who are secretly pretty good. They dominated the Ravens earlier this year and Matt Hasselbeck looks like he has a chance to stay relevant for a few more years (anytime a QB starts after 40, we should call him a Favre. Can't you see some studio analyst saying "I like this kid's durability. He's a serious contender to be a Favre in 15 years"? Yep, me too.) after great games against the Browns and the Broncos (I mean, they are the Browns and Broncos, but still). Chris Johnson also looks like a threat to revive his season against a worn-down front seven. For my upset pick of the week, it's the Titans over the Steelers.
                                     CHIEFS VS COLTS
I'm 2-7 this year picking games where both teams have under two wins. I can't even think of a good joke to make about this game. Colts win 27-17. Next.
                                           RAIDERS VS TEXANS
This is a sleeper for Best Game of the Week status. It's also the fantasy clash of the week as Darren McFadden (the number 1 back) squares off against Arian Foster (presumed to be in the top 3 after coming back from a hamstring injury. Hopefully the trend that Foster started of posting injuries on Twitter wont last. I dont need to see groin injuries being posted online). I'm inclined to go with the Texans on this one because they finally look like a fundamentally sound team (making smart passes, generating a good push at the offensive line, everything. I think they're defense collectively generated a few pulses last game) and the Raiders, well, they're the Raiders. Texans win this game on Foster's legs by the score of 31-23.
                                       CARDINALS VS VIKINGS
The Cardinals showed signs of life last week before their defense choked away a big fourth quarter lead against the Giants. One positive that did come out of the defeat was Beanie Wells. I can't stress how much Beanie has sucked over the past few years, but he seemed to start turning things around in the Giants game. Over 120 yards on 27 carries and three TDs is a solid day, and its downright great in comparison to the ineptitude (an SAT/pompous librarian approved word!) he has displayed over the past few years. Meanwhile, nothing seems to go right for the Minnesota Vikings. Squandering both 17 and 20 point leads, and then capping it off by losing to the Chiefs? Ouch. Carinals win 21-17.
                                       SAINTS VS PANTHERS
I wanted to pick Carolina in this game. I really did. After all, I'm a firm believer in the Newton-Smith partnership that has blossomed in the early goings of the season. However, that would be a stupid pick. New Orleans has shown that their offense is a force to be reckoned with, even if their defense isn't on par with the rest of the league. Brees is an early nominee for MVP, and the Saints (along with the Ravens) are the team I can see standing up to the Packers in the playoffs. They have an identity and the talent to live up to it, and that's a commodity in today's NFL. Then again, you might not want to take the Saints if you're betting the spread (big favorites against Cam Newton? Not a good deal. By the way, notice how I've completely jumped on the Cam Newton bandwagon. My NFL Preview says that he has "the chance to be the biggest bust in the past decade". Now? GO CAM NEWTON!!! Although, the fact that he racked up 31(!) fantasy points against me last week had something to do with it). The Panthers have covered in every game so far this year. However, I'm picking the Saints for a 27-23 win.
                                           SEAHAWKS VS GIANTS
The Giants are my Week 5 Eliminator Pick (I hate picking the Giants just as much as everybody else, but there are no other options for this week) by default. I hate having to pick Eliminator Challenge weeks by default and with everybody else (I always try to never go for the game that everybody is picking. There's a reason that 50,000 people don't win Eliminator Challenge), but this one seems like a lock. The Giants win by two scores. If they lose, I'm picking against them out of spite for the rest of the season.
                                               BUCS VS 49ERS
Every week, the media looks for cute angles on the previous week's events (It doesn't just happen after Week 1!). Some of them are legitimate, most of them aren't. One of the angles that I heard was "The Bucs are the second best team in the NFC! This could be their year!" Geez, some people really need to switch to decaf. The Bucs are not the second best NFC Team. Or the third. Or the fourth. Or possibly not even the fifth. They haven't been able to play a complete game or convincingly beat a good opponent. Then again, neither have the Niners. This is a major letdown game for another young team like the Bucs. Coming off a tough Monday Night game, going to the West Coast, and playing a surprisingly frisky 49ers team? Count me in. 23-20 Niners.
                                              CHARGERS VS BRONCOS
There isn't much hope for the Broncos anymore. After getting dismantled by the Packers, the Broncos have to trudge back home to play a traditionally unpredictable Chargers team. One thing, however, is always predictable. Check out the Chargers' previous playoff seasons. 2009 Week 7, Win against the Chiefs 37-7. 2008 Week 14, Win against the Raiders 37-7. 2007 Week 5, Win against the Broncos 41-3. In each Chargers season, they have an absolutely monster game against a terrible division opponent, usually in midseason (this has gone one for 5 or 6 years now). This feels like one of those games. Rivers is overdue for a great game. Chargers win by at least 17 (I already picked the Chargers in Eliminator. Crap).
                                             PATRIOTS VS JETS
The one thing that I never, ever want to do is to pick against my favorite team. I did. The one thing that I would rather jump in to a shark tank than do is to make an Eliminator Challenge pick against my own team. I almost did that too. It's hard to overstate how much the Jets' offensive line sucked last week, but I'll give it a try. Sanchez drops back to pass, having had three sack-strips against him, two returned for touchdowns. There is a regular four man rush for Baltimore and, no joke, two of them CAME FREE. They didn't make a good move past the linemen. They were completely untouched as Sanchez ran away like he was fleeing the mafia as he threw the ball in to the ground. This happened with five offensive linemen. The running game hasn't been good, the offensive line has sucked, and there is absolutely no reason to believe that the Jets will win this game. The Jets' D will keep it close, but I'm wiping away tears as I pick the Pats to win this one.
                                      PACKERS VS FALCONS
Whenever NFL Gameday shows a highlight bit of Eli Manning throwing for a touchdown, Deion Sanders yells "I BELIEVE IN ELI!!!" No, Seriously. I BELIEVE IN ELI!!!! Why is this relevant? This is what I've been yelling at the Falcons since I made them my Super Bowl Pick, only I've been yelling I DONT BELIEVE IN YOU, FALCONS!!!! I dont believe in them now any more than I did before. Bits of Denver Broncos defenders are still stuck to the bottom of Aaron Rodgers' cleat as he tore them apart for 6 TDs. Same bad defense, same great offense, same result. Packers win 37-23.
                                                  BEARS VS LIONS
I BELIEVE IN THE LIONS!!!!! It might have taken me two weeks longer than everybody else, but I finally believe in them. Facing a good team on the road, down by over 20 points, the Lions pulled it out again. I'm still shocked. Calvin Johnson is putting up the most dominating performance I've ever seen from a wide receiver in the NFL (Don't forget, I was born after Jerry Rice and Randy Moss' prime). Over the last few seasons, there has been an ongoing debate about this. Well, Andre Johnson looks good. If Randy Moss can get it together, he could be the best. Don't forget about Fitzgerald. Well the debate is over. Calvin Johnson has just settled it with 8 touchdowns in four games (the people who picked Johnson in fantasy football have to be high fiving themselves right now). And dont forget about the Lions' pass rush, now that Nick Fairley is back. Between the Bears' struggling offensive line and Jay Cutler's destructive tendencies (I love it when fans discuss their QBs like a bomb that could explode in a mushroom cloud of interceptions at any moment. Except when it's my QB. Then I hate it), this game has all the makings of a double digit win for the Lions.
Thanks for reading and dont forget to read next time for Week 6 picks. I BELIEVE IN THIS COLUMN!!!

Week 4 Picks

BILLS OVER BENGALS I've given up on the Bengals' chances of being this year's "Bad team that benefits from a good schedule". They have let me down in three straight weeks (by beating Cleveland, and then losing to San Fran and Denver), so the confidence meter in Cincy isnt particularly high right now. Buffalo will have at least one good week against an awful Cincy defense before falling back down to Earth. This time next week, we'll be living in a world in which the Bills are 4-0. I'm preparing for the apocalpyse just in case.

PANTHERS OVER BEARS  UPSET PICK!!! I never really liked the Bears this year (which means that I have something in common with everybody else who made predictions about this season). I think that the pass defense isnt good enough to handle Cam Newton. I also think that Jay Cutler is overdue for a "14-33 145 yards 1 touchdown 5 picks 6 eye-rolls 10 times screaming at somebody" game. Always enjoyable.

TITANS OVER BROWNS  This has got to be the week that Chris Johnson finally gets something going, right? Through three games, he's averaging about 2 yards per rush, has not had a run of over 10 yards, and has not rushed for 100 yards for the season. He can't stay terrible for this long. It's impossible. He didn't even appear on the SI or Madden cover.

COWBOYS OVER LIONS I have picked against the Lions so far (except for their easy game against KC) and I have gotten it wrong. What does this pick prove? That I don't remotely learn from my own mistakes. I expect the Cowboys to pull out a 20-17 win in which the Boys keep moving the chains with Dez Bryant on the slant route and Felix Jones running between the tackles. If the Lions win, I will be officially sold on them for the rest of the season (barring injury of course).

VIKINGS OVER CHIEFS 0-3 vs 0-3! Welcome to the Toilet Bowl! Or the Something Has Got to Give Bowl. I expect the Vikings to finally win a game. The Vikings can't possibly blow as huge of a lead as they did last week against a Kansas City team that would struggle to beat a good college program. The Vikings should stop impersonating the 2011 Red Sox and hold on to their lead.

RAMS OVER REDSKINS Because it's time for Rex Grossman to start being Rex Grossman again. By the way, the NFC East just became a wide open race. The Eagles aren't locks anymore, the Giants and Cowboys never fail to fall short of expectations, and the Redskins are, well, you know, the Redskins.

SAINTS OVER JAGUARS Much like Rick Perry in the debate, the Jags' offense is constantly throwing up all over themselves.

EAGLES OVER 49ERS It's the return of VINCE!!!!! Also, the Eagles are pissed off and facing a terrible team. This is not going to end well for the 49ers.

STEELERS OVER TEXANS The Steelers' defense against the Texans' offense. A classic matchup. The Steelers' offense vs the Texans' defense? About as one-sided as a hanging.

FALCONS OVER SEAHAWKS Last week's pitiful loss in Tampa did nothing to improve how I feel about Atlanta. We're about one terrible loss away from me ditching the Falcons. By the way, I'm still talking about the NFC West. I'm starting to feel sick.

GIANTS OVER CARDINALS I cant believe that the Giants are looking like the favorites to win the NFC East at this point. If this happens, I'm going to use Neil Everett's Mayne Street answer "Trick question, there is no NFC East." whenever somebody asks me who won the NFC East.

PACKERS OVER BRONCOS LOCK OF THE WEEK. Should I even waste words on this one? You're right, I shouldn't. Next.
PATS OVER RAIDERS This one is going to be closer than a lot of people think. I wouldnt be at all surprised if the Pats are upset in this one. Tom Brady will still throw for between 450 and 600 yards, but still. McFadden is a monster, but he has to drag the Raiders like every SNL Weekend Update writer has to carry Seth Meyers. Pats win a close one 28-24.
CHARGERS OVER DOLPHINS It was mentioned by a reader in Bill Simmons' column last week that the movie Dolphin Tale was definitely a good sign for Miami on Sunday. After seeing their pathetic performance against the Brown, the Dolphins remind me of the Dolphin in the movie getting a prosthetic tail, only the tail abrubptly falls off and they sink immediately. In a related story, I picked them as a mini-sleeper this year. I tossed that pick out the window about 2 seconds after Week 3 ended. Rivers and the Chargers win easily.
JETS OVER RAVENS  Although I try to be objective, I can't hide the fact that I am a HUGE homer. I dont think that I've picked against the Jets in years. Although I think that Baltimore will win, the Jets can pull off an upset here. If the Jets can get back their old identity and ditch the run and gun 300 yards per game throwing approach, they can be real contenders in the AFC. Meanwhile, Baltimore is a volatile Vegas Craps table. Is there a lucky dice thrower that can't lose (See weeks 1 and 3) or one that might as well be holding a black cat (See week two)? You never know what you're going to get (they're much like a box of chocolates in this respect). We finally see the average Ravens and the best Jets (Rex might have triggered an earthquake with his postgame speech after last week. Too bad there's no footage). Jets win 23-20.
BUCS OVER COLTS I can't believe how much Monday Night Football has disappointed in the first few weeks. Instead of Jets-Pats and Saints-Falcons, we get crap like this and Giants-Rams. Good times! The Colts showed signs of life last week, but their first win won't come against Tampa Bay. The Bucs win 26-17.

Some Thoughts About Who's Who in the NFL (Or Slice's cop-out really short column)

                                 
We have two weeks in the bag in the 2011 National Football League Season. Now we approach the pivotal Week 3. Weeks 3-5 are like middle school/ beginning of high school for football teams. You start figuring out what your identity is and how you stack up against everybody else. As we head in to these weeks, watch for teams that don't have identities that have winning records. You can't survive in the playoffs winning each game a different way. More on that later. Anyways, it's time to figure out who the upper echelon is, who wont get there this year, and who will never approach it. I'm not doing a picks column this week (if you want my picks, friend me on ESPN.com and you can see my Pigskin Pick Em page. I went 12-4 last week, so I'm not too bad. At least this is what I keep telling myself.) because I want to do a different kind of column this week (Real reason: I have too much work to do a picks column, I want to go see Moneyball/Bucky Larson this weekend, and also I'M LAZY.)

                                      PLAYOFF TEAMS THAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT

I'm not counting any playoff team that's obviously terrible (Colts and Chiefs) because, uh, you don't need me to tell you that they're terrible. I'm here to try to figure out which teams that could falter that aren't so obvious. Right now, I'm worried about the Jets, the Falcons, the Chargers, and the Saints. The Jets and the Falcons (my favorite team and my Super Bowl pick) can be grouped in to the same category of good teams with no identity. The Jets have the "Ground and Pound" philosophy since Rex Ryan came and have ran it with a great deal of success. However, the offensive line is starting to give out. Nick Mangold is injured for a few games, Wayne Hunter is awful, and we learned in the preseason that Vladimir Ducasse is just as terrible. Shonn Greene is not an elite back, but he can be good behind a competent offensive line. Now, it's not apparent just what the Jets are. Sanchez seems to be improving, giving us the notion that this could be a passing team in a few years. However, the defense and running game look questionable in the early goings (I'm not sold on a great performance against the Black Sheep McCown Brother. Also, I would like to correct last week's column. McCown started Weeks 1 and 2, not Gabbert. Maybe I was just too depressed to think of a McCown brother starting in the NFL). Meanwhile, the Falcons' defense is in infinitely worse shape and the offensive line can't protect Matty Ice. I would be concerned if I were a Falcons fan. Do I regret picking them for the Super Bowl, even though they pulled out a win against the Eagles last week? Um, yes. Yes I do. The Chargers and Saints have identities that simply dont work. The Saints have the "We're not going to bother playing inspired defense, we'll just have to outscore you" identity. That does not work. EVER. The Seahawks beat them last year and revealed the Saints' secondary troubles, now the Saints are showing all of us that they have learned nothing from last year. The Chargers have perhaps the most talented team in football, but the Chargers keep shooting themselves in the foot. The Chargers had seven possessions inside Patriot territory through the halfway point in the third quarter and had only seven points to show for it. The Chargers committed three turnovers and failed to convert a fourth and goal from the one yard line. On a master list of "Types of teams who don't win playoff games", non-fundamentally sound teams are number one and all offense no defense is number 2. Anyways, watch out for these teams to stumble in the upcoming weeks.
                                                               7UP
1. New England Patriots and Green Bay Packers: Teams with established quarterbacks and veteran leaders were in the best position to survive the lockout.
2. Darren McFadden's Fantasy Stock: It's through the roof at this point. I expect a great year from McFadden. Imagine what could happen if the Raiders' line were decent.
3. Detroit Lions: I never expected the Lions to be this good. However, I would buy Lions stock cautiously, two of their top players are injury risks. If Stafford and Calvin Johnson stay healthy, this is a dangerous team.
4. Drew Brees: Brees might be on his way to regaining his undisputed "Best in the league" status after two unbelievable games. Too bad New Orleans' defense is made of those crash test dummies.
5. Retro Uniforms: They're still hip!! The Jets' ugly 1950s color scheme unis propelled them to a demolishing of the Jags. I'm convinced that every struggling team should come up with a random alternate uniform to turn their season around. Trust me, it will work.
6. Bucky Larson References: HE'S BORN TO BE A STAR!!!!! RATED R!!!!!!!!
7. The AFC East: Three of the seven 2-0 teams are in the AFC East (Bills, Jets, Pats). The divisional games and level of competition will be as heated as ever between the Jets and the Patriots, and relevant for the first time ever between the Bills and Jets/Pats.

                                                              7DOWN
1. Reviews for Bucky Larson: "A part of my soul died while watching this movie" Haters.
2 Colts and Chiefs: Ouch. This is the first time I've ever seen two playoff teams fall this far. These two teams are not only bad, they are life-alteringly terrible. As in "They have a serious chance of going 0-16" terrible. It's borderline funny at this point, and we're only in Week Two.
3. Guys starting ahead of 2011 Rookie QBs: Blaine Gabbert is getting thrown in to the fire after the Black Sheep McCown brother predictably sucked. Matt Hasselbeck is proving that he isn't completely over the hill, and Donovan McNabb is still in his football Mid-Life Crisis. Not a great time for these guys.
4. NFL Sunday Ticket: 300 dollars per year? Really? I can get myself a nice new iPod for that. Or a really crappy car. Or keep it and say that I have about as much money as Bucky Larson made in three weeks (two more Larson references to go before I break the record). Anyways, I'll save my money and settle for a few games per week.
5.The Brady Rule: I can understand wanting to protect the quarterback's legs, but this has gotten ridiculous. A 15 yard penalty after Raheem Brock was pushed in to Ben Roethlisberger's legs? Really? Soon we'll have defensive players having to ask for permission before they can sack the QB.
6: Jamaal Charles: At least he can look at the framed photos/ Youtube videos of last season. I was kinda sad to see him go. Until next year, Jamaal.
7. Too much Homework: It sucks. Sadly, you'll probably be seeing more of these really quick articles because of the too much HW actor during the week. I will try to put in a longer piece time permitting, but it looks like I'll have to keep these shorter for the foreseeable future. Oh, and one more thing. Wait for it....... Wait for it....... BUCKY LARSON BORN TO BE A STAR RATED R!!!!!!!!!!