PANTHERS OVER BEARS UPSET PICK!!! I never really liked the Bears this year (which means that I have something in common with everybody else who made predictions about this season). I think that the pass defense isnt good enough to handle Cam Newton. I also think that Jay Cutler is overdue for a "14-33 145 yards 1 touchdown 5 picks 6 eye-rolls 10 times screaming at somebody" game. Always enjoyable.
TITANS OVER BROWNS This has got to be the week that Chris Johnson finally gets something going, right? Through three games, he's averaging about 2 yards per rush, has not had a run of over 10 yards, and has not rushed for 100 yards for the season. He can't stay terrible for this long. It's impossible. He didn't even appear on the SI or Madden cover.
COWBOYS OVER LIONS I have picked against the Lions so far (except for their easy game against KC) and I have gotten it wrong. What does this pick prove? That I don't remotely learn from my own mistakes. I expect the Cowboys to pull out a 20-17 win in which the Boys keep moving the chains with Dez Bryant on the slant route and Felix Jones running between the tackles. If the Lions win, I will be officially sold on them for the rest of the season (barring injury of course).
VIKINGS OVER CHIEFS 0-3 vs 0-3! Welcome to the Toilet Bowl! Or the Something Has Got to Give Bowl. I expect the Vikings to finally win a game. The Vikings can't possibly blow as huge of a lead as they did last week against a Kansas City team that would struggle to beat a good college program. The Vikings should stop impersonating the 2011 Red Sox and hold on to their lead.
RAMS OVER REDSKINS Because it's time for Rex Grossman to start being Rex Grossman again. By the way, the NFC East just became a wide open race. The Eagles aren't locks anymore, the Giants and Cowboys never fail to fall short of expectations, and the Redskins are, well, you know, the Redskins.
SAINTS OVER JAGUARS Much like Rick Perry in the debate, the Jags' offense is constantly throwing up all over themselves.
EAGLES OVER 49ERS It's the return of VINCE!!!!! Also, the Eagles are pissed off and facing a terrible team. This is not going to end well for the 49ers.
STEELERS OVER TEXANS The Steelers' defense against the Texans' offense. A classic matchup. The Steelers' offense vs the Texans' defense? About as one-sided as a hanging.
FALCONS OVER SEAHAWKS Last week's pitiful loss in Tampa did nothing to improve how I feel about Atlanta. We're about one terrible loss away from me ditching the Falcons. By the way, I'm still talking about the NFC West. I'm starting to feel sick.
GIANTS OVER CARDINALS I cant believe that the Giants are looking like the favorites to win the NFC East at this point. If this happens, I'm going to use Neil Everett's Mayne Street answer "Trick question, there is no NFC East." whenever somebody asks me who won the NFC East.
PACKERS OVER BRONCOS LOCK OF THE WEEK. Should I even waste words on this one? You're right, I shouldn't. Next.
PATS OVER RAIDERS This one is going to be closer than a lot of people think. I wouldnt be at all surprised if the Pats are upset in this one. Tom Brady will still throw for between 450 and 600 yards, but still. McFadden is a monster, but he has to drag the Raiders like every SNL Weekend Update writer has to carry Seth Meyers. Pats win a close one 28-24.
CHARGERS OVER DOLPHINS It was mentioned by a reader in Bill Simmons' column last week that the movie Dolphin Tale was definitely a good sign for Miami on Sunday. After seeing their pathetic performance against the Brown, the Dolphins remind me of the Dolphin in the movie getting a prosthetic tail, only the tail abrubptly falls off and they sink immediately. In a related story, I picked them as a mini-sleeper this year. I tossed that pick out the window about 2 seconds after Week 3 ended. Rivers and the Chargers win easily.
JETS OVER RAVENS Although I try to be objective, I can't hide the fact that I am a HUGE homer. I dont think that I've picked against the Jets in years. Although I think that Baltimore will win, the Jets can pull off an upset here. If the Jets can get back their old identity and ditch the run and gun 300 yards per game throwing approach, they can be real contenders in the AFC. Meanwhile, Baltimore is a volatile Vegas Craps table. Is there a lucky dice thrower that can't lose (See weeks 1 and 3) or one that might as well be holding a black cat (See week two)? You never know what you're going to get (they're much like a box of chocolates in this respect). We finally see the average Ravens and the best Jets (Rex might have triggered an earthquake with his postgame speech after last week. Too bad there's no footage). Jets win 23-20.
BUCS OVER COLTS I can't believe how much Monday Night Football has disappointed in the first few weeks. Instead of Jets-Pats and Saints-Falcons, we get crap like this and Giants-Rams. Good times! The Colts showed signs of life last week, but their first win won't come against Tampa Bay. The Bucs win 26-17.
PATS OVER RAIDERS This one is going to be closer than a lot of people think. I wouldnt be at all surprised if the Pats are upset in this one. Tom Brady will still throw for between 450 and 600 yards, but still. McFadden is a monster, but he has to drag the Raiders like every SNL Weekend Update writer has to carry Seth Meyers. Pats win a close one 28-24.
CHARGERS OVER DOLPHINS It was mentioned by a reader in Bill Simmons' column last week that the movie Dolphin Tale was definitely a good sign for Miami on Sunday. After seeing their pathetic performance against the Brown, the Dolphins remind me of the Dolphin in the movie getting a prosthetic tail, only the tail abrubptly falls off and they sink immediately. In a related story, I picked them as a mini-sleeper this year. I tossed that pick out the window about 2 seconds after Week 3 ended. Rivers and the Chargers win easily.
JETS OVER RAVENS Although I try to be objective, I can't hide the fact that I am a HUGE homer. I dont think that I've picked against the Jets in years. Although I think that Baltimore will win, the Jets can pull off an upset here. If the Jets can get back their old identity and ditch the run and gun 300 yards per game throwing approach, they can be real contenders in the AFC. Meanwhile, Baltimore is a volatile Vegas Craps table. Is there a lucky dice thrower that can't lose (See weeks 1 and 3) or one that might as well be holding a black cat (See week two)? You never know what you're going to get (they're much like a box of chocolates in this respect). We finally see the average Ravens and the best Jets (Rex might have triggered an earthquake with his postgame speech after last week. Too bad there's no footage). Jets win 23-20.
BUCS OVER COLTS I can't believe how much Monday Night Football has disappointed in the first few weeks. Instead of Jets-Pats and Saints-Falcons, we get crap like this and Giants-Rams. Good times! The Colts showed signs of life last week, but their first win won't come against Tampa Bay. The Bucs win 26-17.
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